We all have opinions about the latest news and hot topic issues like abortion, homosexuality and “going green.” It doesn’t take long for an argument to ensue when two headstrong people from opposing camps begin to debate the merits of their view. At some level, it is healthy for people to defend their point of view; however, it can become a tool for bullying when words turn to slander.
Growing up, I held to a pro-life ideology. I was well versed, even as a young girl, in the damning effects of abortion to a baby and moral implications associated with the choice. I was extremely judgmental in my views and couldn’t understand how someone could kill their child.
In my junior year of high school, my life quickly unraveled as I struggled with the reality of years of abuse in my life and to those I loved. I was angry at God and decided I would take control. I began to make unwise choices and in a matter of a year or so I found myself pregnant and wondering what I would do. Going contrary to the beliefs of my childhood, I chose abortion.
It was a choice that didn’t make sense when compared to my viewpoints and desires for my life. It was choice that I soon came to regret. I was enveloped in a depression and instantly affected by the debate. College classroom debates on abortion were damning for me. I found I was being silently stoned by the words of people who felt the same way I had felt just a short time earlier. Their judgmental comments were hard rocks hitting my soft flesh.
Over a period of three years, I found healing through a post-abortion support group. It was just the beginning for me, but the whole experience helped me to see the people in the midst of the issue. God was transforming my heart, not only by healing my own wounds, but empowering me to properly mix truth and grace to be effective in helping others find healing. Through it all, my own post-abortion ministry was started both personally and professionally through The IRMA Network.
Through ministry, I know abortion not only kills babies, but it wounds the souls of men and women and leads them to make other devastating choices. I’ve learned that those of us that call ourselves followers of Christ should always stand for truth, but need to learn to communicate it through the words of grace instead of condemnation. When we state our lack of understanding of “how someone could ever do such a thing” puts us above others, when in truth, we all lay out equally at the foot of the cross, each with our different areas of struggle.
You can hear more of Carrie’s Story either at her blog or www.prolifepodcast.net. For more information on how to help those considering abortion, check out Carrie’s 9 Tips for Talking to Someone Considering An Abortion.
Being first told that you are pregnant reminds me of being first told that there is a God. All you have is some documentation or the word of someone else. And the decision you make from that point on must be one of TRUST. Trust that someone bigger than you is actively involved in your life to bring about changes that ripple out from you and affect many others, including one whose life who has come about by choices you made. Or did it?
Getting pregnant, may have come about by your choice, or by someone forcing that on you. But that LIFE that is in you comes from God’s choice to give life. The next choice you make is weather you are going to TRUST that God has stirred within you a gift that will change lives and that He will do something that is wonderful beyond your understanding. I believe that is why He gave us His Word to direct us through those dark times when we don’t know the right thing to do for ourselves. We trust that when He says “Thou shalt not Kill” we navigate away to many other options that will bring Joy out wrong choices.
If you missed that opportunity to show your trust. You start again with Trust and know that only HE can shape you by the choices you make to still do amazing things. Like being that “someone else” that knows the other side and can tell the next person it is better to TRUST God with the place they are in and step into the something wonderful He for them
in this experience.
I know this first hand. When I was 4 years old, I had an overwhelming desire for a new baby in my family. I prayed daily and tried to buy clothes when we would go to the store. God was preparing my 41 yr.old parents’ heart. Of course, I had told everyone I met about it. A neighbor came to our house, and told us of a very young family friend in another state, who was pregnant. She asked if we would we be interested in taking the baby. My parents said YES! She came down and delivered him and we got him right away. My parents always stayed in touch with her family and when he was older he got to meet his birth mom. After she grew up, she married and had 2 other children. His half brother was his best man in his wedding. When my father had heart surgery and I couldn’t come, my brother and his birth mom stayed with my mom. Her daughter was my dad’s nurse. His birth mom also came and visited with us when my brother came for my daughter’s graduation. When I introduced her and my mother-in-law asked how she was related. It was this special defining moment, as we all looked at each other. Everything came full circle when I said “This is his other mother.” God’s awesome plan that was started in my heart BEFORE his conception was a blessing that has just kept on blessing us.
TRUST that He always has the better plan for us all.
Trusting God is the hardest thing I have ever done. I just want to take my life in my own hands. Thankfully, God has put many people and circumstances in my life recently that have forced me to learn this trust.
Well written article, Carrie. I never thought about how my “pro-life” words would affect someone who did make a choice for abortion. You’ve helped me think about how I will make my views understood next time I hear people talking about pro-life or not.
Great article Carrie:) Its a good thing you do with the support groups. I always think about if all the aborted babies were available for adoption how many lives that would bless. There are faaar more couples desiring a child than babies available. Its a win win. Thanks for working toward that ideal, in your own way. xoxo